Khia's birth was a very healing experience for me. I was quite depressed after the caesarean birth of my son Isaac. My depression was not apparent until Isaac was 6 months old. Around this time, two of my friends had given birth vaginally. I started feeling down and would cry at the thought of a vaginal birth. I actually thought I was going crazy. After all, I had my healthy baby, what more could I want, right!

I started doing research about VBAC's (Vaginal Birth after Caesarean). I was saddened when I discovered that hospitals labelled VBAC mothers as "high risk" and only give mothers a "trial" of labour. I didn't want to be hooked up to machine and restricted to the bed! I knew this could lead to a second caesarean very easily. There had to be something better. I researched more.

This is what I discovered:

• That VBAC's are actually less risky then caesarean for the mother... after all a caesarean is a major operation; and
• Since I had never laboured, I was at no more of a risk than a first time pregnant women were.

It soon became obvious to me that a hospital and an obstetrician was not the way for me to have a VBAC. I then started looking at the alternatives to a hospital birth. Some how I stumbled across www.homebirthsydney.org.au, a web site for homebirth information and was given Akal's name. I emailed her and to my delight, she was very positive about VBAC's and natural births. She had assisted several women to birth normally after having a caesarean.

My husband and I went along to see Akal with a list of questions as long as your arm. I felt that I hadn't asked enough questions the first time around and I wasn't going to make the same mistake again. We spent over an hour with Akal. I left feeling that all my questions were answered and then some. I had found the person who I felt confident would support me through my pregnancy and help me have a VBAC. Now all we had to do was get pregnant!

About a month or two later we were back in Akal's office with the happy news. I thought that now that I had made the decision all my worries were over... Not so! I went to see my local doctor and informing him of my decision for a VBAC at home. To my surprise, he was totally unsupportive. In fact, I left the office with pictures of disaster and doom in my mind. Fear came flooding back! I began to question whether I had made the right decision. These feeling stayed with me throughout the first trimester. Thankfully, I had Akal on my side to offer me support. There is one comment that Akal made that helped me deal with my fear. She said that I had to acknowledge that things can go wrong in any pregnancy/labour and I had to be prepared for them. Although at the time all I wanted to hear was how everything was going to be rosy, this was the best thing she could have told me. It made me face my fears once and for all. I knew in my heart and from my research that I had made the right decision. As it turned out once the hormones of the first trimester settled down so did my fears. However, after that experience I avoided telling anyone who didn't need to know that I was having a home VBAC and surrounded myself with positive people.

I had high blood pressure in my first pregnancy leading to a caesarean delivery. I didn't want a repeat so I did everything that I could do to stay healthy with Akal as my coach. I began walking at least 1hour every day and I swam at least twice a week. I did yoga and meditation at home. I focused on a healthy diet and in the last trimester I even took the horrible birthing tonic Akal gave me religiously (it goes down a lot better with cranberry juice). I think I was probably the fittest that I had ever been at 9 months pregnant! It made such a difference to my pregnancy and the birth of my baby.

Craig and I also went to see a birth educator who was fantastic. Besides telling us how everything works, she also taught me how to breathe through pain and to release all the tension in my body. This information was the most important thing that I could have learnt and it really got me through labour!

The only other major obstacle that I had to deal with was in the last 8 weeks of pregnancy. I started to doubt that I could have Khia naturally. I know this sounds silly but at the time I was really not sure that my body could do what every other women's body could do. The thing that rang in my mind the most was a comment that the obstetrician had made to me after the birth of Isaac. She had said that she didn't think that I would have been able to have him naturally anyway. That I would probably have gone to 42 weeks without going into labour and needed a caesarean because he was too big! She then went on to tell me that any future children I had would have a 70% chance of being born via caesarean! These comments combined with a helpful ex-midwife friend who kept telling me that she was scared for me if I went over my dates because of the size of the baby. She had even asked an obstetrician's opinion for me who said that I should have scans and test to ensure that baby wasn't too big and that he wouldn't let me go over my dates if I was his patient! Not really what I needed to hear. I began to fear that my body wasn't going to go into labour in time. Strangely though, I also knew that if I did go into labour naturally that I could have this baby naturally! After all, I had really prepared for it! Stupid Huh! Again, Akal was great with the support she gave me. When I did go past my due date she offered to check to see how I was progressing and possible attempt a natural induction. This really put my mind at ease. After the first check the cervix wasn't at the right stage for a natural induction and as it turned out I didn't get around to needing it!

I started feeling strong Braxton Hicks contractions on and off at night for a few weeks. They would come at 5 minute intervals and last for a few hours and then disappear. I was use to feeling them so I ignore them and went to sleep. That night I woke up feeling a little uncomfortable. Usually they had gone by the time that I needed to get up for a wee. I kept telling myself that they were probably nothing and tried to get back to sleep. However, I just couldn't! In the end I decided to go and sit up in the lounge room and see if any thing happened. I went to the living room and made myself a cosy nest where I could squat on a bean bag and rest my head on Isaac's little table. The pains continued throughout the night. Getting a little stronger in the early hour and backing right off when the sun came up. Craig was dying to ring Akal. I kept telling him that I wasn't even sure that I was in labour and that we should wait. So Craig waited until 6am!

Of course, after that, the pains faded as the sun came up. I decided to follow Akal's advice and made myself a cosy nest in the bedroom with pillows and Isaac's baby couch. At this stage I couldn't get comfortable unless I was almost upright! The day rolled on and I spent most of my day trying to rest. I got up for lunch, a nice homemade pizza. Then things started to pick up! It seemed that Khia didn't want me to eat lunch because the contractions started coming every 2-5 minutes still not with great force but enough to stop me eating and talking. I retreated to my l nest but I couldn't get comfortable in the upright sleeping position that I had previously found so relaxing. Then I noticed a little spot of "water: on the bed. I wasn't sure if I had been incontinent... but from then on the contractions took on a new force. At this stage I started to think that I wanted Akal. Up until now I hadn't wanted her to be there because I feared that she would come and my contractions would disappear! Now I knew there was no going back! As I was thinking this Craig announced that he was calling Akal and that he thought that she should be here! Good, I thought.

I settled myself on my yoga ball. The only position I could get any relief was if I sat forward so I pilled pillows up on the bed and lent myself forward on the pillows. I had thought before labour that I would be moving around or squatting. However, I could not move out of my position. If I moved up or down from this position and the contraction came (which were coming every 2-5minutes at this stage), it felt so much worse. Finally, Akal came and to my delight, she was happy with the strength of my contractions. It didn't seem long after Akal arrived that the contractions intensified and I felt that I couldn't stay in the position I was in... Everything that I tried seemed to make things stronger. Akal suggested that I move into the shower, which I did and gained a little relief for a while but soon the water felt like it was burning my back during the contractions. It actually felt like someone was pouring boiling water over my back during contractions even though in between the water was fine!

I felt like things were progressing well. Nevertheless, I didn't think that I could bear the pain much longer. Then I remembered what I read about how that often meant that I was in transition... so then I started thinking about the time frame. Labours normally lasted 16hour for first labours and some how I worked out that I had at least five more hours of this to go! That was when I told Akal that I wasn't sure I could do this for much longer. The words came out of my mouth but I didn't believe it in my heart. I knew I could do it. I think I just wanted to hear it from someone else. Akal was supportive as usually and kept my mind focused and helped me to release the tension I had started to build up in my shoulders.

It wasn't that much later that that I started to feel a pushing sensation. It was only a slight sensation. I remember thinking to myself, this can't be happening yet. After all, I had at least 5 hour of labour left. I ignored it and continued focussing on relaxing and releasing. However, Khia had other ideas and with the next contraction came a huge urge to push. I resisted and told Akal who advised me not to push yet. With the next contraction even though I was not pushing I could feel Khia moving down and I told Akal that I could help but push, that my body was doing it all on it's own. With this out came the gloves. I was actually happy to see them. After an internal check and Akal's positive response, I started to push. The pushing was such a relief from the contraction that seem to come one on top of the other at the end.

I felt as if her head wasn't moving although I felt all the ligaments in my hips and pelvis expand, allowing room for Khia to move down. After a few pushes Khia came out into Craig's waiting arms. Then straight up to me. I was holding my daughter for the first time within seconds of her being born.

Khia was not small baby - 3640kg, 52cm long, and a head circumference 36 cm. Just slightly smaller than Isaac was when he was born. I was told that I probably wouldn't have been able to give birth to him naturally because he was so big!

I remember a friend (who had midwifery training) came to see us a day after Khia was born and commenting on how her head had no bruising or moulding. My body had just expanded to make room for her. Best of all, I had no tears. I highly recommend the perineal stretches. Besides preparing the perineum, they also helped me to imagine how the final stages of pushing would feel and they helped me to keep my perineum relaxed.

So that's my story. I hope it will give the women who read it the confidence to at the very least, look into other options for VBAC. Having Khia at home was one of the best decisions that I have ever made.

And Now a Word from Dad.

(This is the birth announcement from Craig after Khia's birth)

Hi everyone,

Well as you probably all know we had our little baby girl last night. Jodie did so well. Heres how it went.

She got up at about midnight because she couldn't sleep. I woke up about 2 am and couldn't find her so I wondered about the house trying to find her. She was sitting out in the lounge room making herself comfortable and in the early stages of labour. We watched Rage until 6am while Jodie started to work out what was comfortable and what wasn't. Rage had a special on Guns 'n' Roses so it took us back to our high school days.

After Zac got up about 6am Jodie went back to bed to try to get comfortable in there. She found it painful to lie down with all the contractions so she propped her self up with pillows and cushions and doonas. For the rest of the morning I helped her stay comfortable while the contractions kept coming.

We had pizza for lunch. Homemade, not delivery. It was just after lunch that the contractions started to come on strong. Jodie mum Kez kept Isaac at bay while Jodie and I were focused on having a successful home birth. Our midwife Akal arrived at about 4pm to give us a hand. By that stage Jodie was starting to do it tough. The contractions were 2-3 mins apart and lasting for 60-90 seconds. She hopped in the shower for about the last hour and a half. The running warm water kept her comfortable and helped with the back pain. With about half an hour to go Jodie was running low on positive energy and was feeling like giving up. Akal laughed when Jodie told me to shut up after I told her how proud I was of her. We kept on encouraging Jodie to stay focused, concentrate on her breathing and telling her she could do it.

And she did. At 720pm the pain and pushing was over. Khia had arrived. Jodie and I had tears of joy. It was awesome, it really was. This perfect little (8+ pounds) girl had arrived. Jodie was so relieved that it was all over. Khia was born.

Thanks for all the well wishes guys. Now check out the pics at our website below. If I have missed anyone please send this email on to them.

Cheers
Craig

Akal Khalsa is a Sydney based midwife and provides midwifery services including: homebirths,
pre-conception consultations, childbirth preparation, nutritional advise and breastfeeding support.

For more information Contact Akal.