6 August 2006

You were born on a Sunday 2 weeks past the time the clock said you should come; my little Leo who already is living up to that fiery reputation. You came into the world hard and fast but really, your story is filled with all the warmth and laughter that I had hoped.

I felt you were coming for the 2 nights before we finally met you and each day I woke to find I was still pregnant was a surprise. I struggled to remind myself that having you in my tummy was a blessing and a bond that I would miss when you were out. I so wanted to meet you and for you to meet your family. On the third day, your dad needed to go to work and I decided to go out to your great aunt Libby's, when I arrived all of the aunts' uncles and cousins were there.

I noticed that I was having rhythmic tightenings every 10 minutes but they were painless so I was sure they were just my body getting ready. After a few hours they were getting more intense and over lunch I started having to pay them attention, shifting position and leaving the table on the pretence of seeing to Jack, really I was trying to hide from the family that I was in labour until I was sure. Finally, I decided that I had better start the 45 minute drive home just in case this was really it. Our family was so excited and nervous for me, being out there was such a lovely way to spend my early labour.

On the way home I called your dad and told him he needed to leave work. He timed my contractions and kept me focused while I drove. Jack was asleep and the tightening had become cramping pains. I was still able to concentrate through them as I clenched the steering wheel. I also called Trish who was going to look after Jack, I started feeling nervous, I knew that the journey to meeting you was going to be hard and I felt a bit unsure that I was ready for it.

Once I got home I packed a bag for Jack in-between getting on my hands a knees for contractions, I had all these plans of calling people and letting them know I was in labour, I liked the idea of all of the people I loved thinking of me while I laboured, but I couldn't have spoken on the phone. Suddenly I realized that I needed to give my body all of my attention all of the time, I lay in our lounge room and through each surge I stretched out on my side, when it subsided I closed my eyes and as if in a trance I slept, I felt a little panicked as I imagined that I had hours and hours to go and felt that I was getting close to the end of my tolerance. Jack woke up to see me lying on the floor and came down for a cuddle, it was centering to hold him and made me forget my fears

Then Trish arrived and helped daddy start getting the beautiful big birth pool ready for us. Trish took Jack home with her as he was so young and I thought he would be scared of my noises. As Jack left with Trish your daddy and I felt teary, it was his first night away from us and we knew that when he came home his life was going to change (for the better) more than we could imagine.

Akal arrived to hear me roaring through each contraction. She helped your daddy set up a space for me to labour, it was all going so fast we hadn't had a chance to set up the bed I had planned. Akal laid her hands on me during each surge then set her stuff up in between while I slept.


I really felt that she was watching over me and letting me do what felt right, she talked to me through them telling me to relax into it, I told her that the tensing of my body seemed to be helping and suddenly I felt a warm balloon come down into my vagina and with a warm pop and a gush I realized my waters had broken, it felt like such a relief as if the pressure had been taken out of my body, though the contractions got stronger. A bit scared again I asked Akal, why was it important to have you naturally and at home, and she said we want what's best for our baby and I said and we don't want to miss it.

Suddenly I started feeling a little different, I had a very strong pain in my front lower belly and couldn't feel much else but the pressure had changed. Akal said that she felt she would like to check me because it sounded like I was starting to push, sure enough I was almost dilated, but I had a cervical lip. I tried hard not to push and to let the last of my cervix dilate but my body was in charge and my head was fighting being scared, Jacks' labour also had a cervical lip and it swelled up and was the start of his labour being medicalised.

I started yelling at your dad and Akal, that I needed a break from the splitting pain at the front so that I could concentrate enough to not push, I grabbed your daddy so hard on the shoulder he was sore for a week and Akal had both of my legs pushing against her and was pushing hard on the sore spot on my tummy with me pushing her hand harder with each contraction.

After a little while Akal checked me again, she said that she was going to help me and you get past this last little bit of cervix, she said it would hurt but after we got you past my cervix you would be born and all the pain would go away, I was so ready to meet you and I knew then end was near, she held my cervix back and I pushed as hard as I could, finally you were past and I felt inside and felt your soft warm head and knew I was nearly at the end.

All the books and most birth stories talk about the burn as you push a baby out, I was still having the pain in my lower belly and it overrode everything else, after about 3 pushes your head popped out and again I felt down helping you enter the world, very slowly the rest of your body was born, you had your hand by your already big chest and I got a little tear, I didn't care, finally you were on my belly.

Your cord was too short to lift you up and no one was talking. I reached down and felt you and realized that you were a boy, I told your daddy, and he looked so surprised and overjoyed at the same time, we had been sure you were a girl. We lay there for a while resting and smiling and Akal got ready to tie your cord, I felt an almighty surge and plop out came your placenta. We put it aside as I wanted to have a good look at it as it had connected you to me and helped you grow so big, and finally I was able to put my face to yours and cover you with kisses crooning to you until you stopped crying.

It was a panicked birth, but here you were in my arms only 4 hours after I had gotten home. You were 10 pounds 8 ounces and I didn't need a stitch.

The next part of your birth is that part that will forever make me grateful that we had you in our lounge room; no one took you from me; no one made us do anything. Akal would occasionally mention that we might like to do something. The three of us, you, your daddy and I were in a bit of a haze, but it was so peaceful and warm in our home and we were in control of keeping it that way. I had a hot shower while your daddy held you and had a beer, I dressed and held you to my breast as you had your first feed sitting in the chair I still feed you in.

Meanwhile your dad emptied the pool I never did use; we drank champagne and ate cheese croissants. Your daddy called everyone to tell them that we had met you and your Camden family couldn't believe that you were earth side already. The first hours after your birth, we sat quietly talking about the afternoon, laughing and recovering, it was a blissful time and I will forever be thankful for it.

So that's it. Everyday we know you more and everyday I think about how lucky I was to have the birth that I had and how normal it now feels. I don't feel like super woman and I don't feel like some crazy hippy, I just feel like a mother who had the birth every woman deserves.

Beautiful Hamish
Born at Home
06/08/06
4.75kg




Akal Khalsa is a Sydney based midwife and provides midwifery services including: homebirths,
pre-conception consultations, childbirth preparation, nutritional advise and breastfeeding support.

For more information Contact Akal.